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[chaosqueenParticipant]

HA! Butterfly, you got the right person! I got great aim and a vicious kick! :lol:

Welcome to the forum. You are not alone and I think we should declare “skip” an unwelcome word on this thread. Luckily for you I just happen to have 2 or 3 things I should be parting with myself, so there.

Care to share how much you have? Can you still fully use your rooms and facilities? To you have block doors etc? I have decided to start at the front door again, so I can open the door without being worried. Feel free to join me!

[butterfly2018]

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[bluesyjayParticipant]

Hello butterfly2018 and welcome!

how is it going? how are you feeling?

are you working on it today? have you started somewhere?

do you have a plan or one of the areas you would want to see cleared first for some reason?

start small…

maybe focus on a small area that is VISIBLE and that would make you feel a little better

start easy

is there any obvious trash around?

[butterfly2018]

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[bluesyjayParticipant]

it’s the same here

it feels like being under some sort of malevolent enchantment, a spell

clutter drains energy, it makes you freeze, get into overwhelm, confusion, you can really feel it mentally and physically

so what is on the bed, have you started working on it? is there a space where you can put those things?

have you tried with a timer?

for example you could put 15 min on the timer, do what you can, and come back here to write it down, and then go again

and when you feel tired, give yourself 15 (or 30) min with the timer, of relax time and then start over

[butterfly2018]

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[bluesyjayParticipant]

Oh, believe me you are SO not alone in this!!

I do not think anyone in here thinks that it is easy,

and even if someone does not have an issue with “xyz”, they will mostly have an issue with “hij” or whatever

most of those that are in here know that “it can be that hard” even when we cannot, ourselves, totally grasp why and how

the vicious cycle is that there is no place for things (same here) because there is too much stuff

and the stuff does not get put away, contributing to the mess, and so on…

can you find a space, maybe a closed container,where you can for now put the things that you are sure to keep?

so

– clothes

– paperwork

– bits and bobs

can you sort the stuff in these categories and start on one of them?

maybe you have already

you can do this!!

[chaosqueenParticipant]

If you want to clear out you have to remember 2 things

#1 stop things from coming in

#2 start getting things out.

Sounds like you have too many clothes among other things. Is there anything you are willing to part with? Things that don’t fit/are old/torn/you don’t really like? In your current situation finding a spot to put your things will be close to impossible as you ran out of storage space. Now the trick is to not get more storage space, but to have less to store.

So. Can you identify anything you are willing to part with?

[butterfly2018]

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[NanaParticipant]

I found a book called – I think – Colour me beautiful – and it showed that people with a certain colouring have a certain range of colours which make them look good – that helped a lot as I had a real reason for taking out the clothes which were wrong for me, the browns and oranges, and getting rid of them.

Now I have lost weight and have had to replace clothes and I know at once what colours to look for.

I suspect there is information on the internet about the colour ‘seasons’ which helped me so much in sorting clothes – and also fabrics and knitting yarns, so I did not waste time making garments which were wrong for me.

Perhaps the first stage is to consider that with so many clothes to look after, reducing the amount of sorting, washing and ironing they require will free up a lot of time better spent on other things.

[Helpingmum]

Hello butterfly2018, welcome.

I was about to say ‘I’m not a hoarder but the daughter of one’ but in truth, I have a bit of organised chaos as well so that’s not strictly true.

I’m helping my mum get cleared and in that process I’ve found I too need to declutter and get my own house in order. I have an untidy home,no space is inaccessible but I have the feeling that given time, I could be in the same position as her.

I think you are very brave to have joined this site and it tells me you are ready to clear. I’m not experienced and can only share what I learn through helping my mum, but I hope you will find the information, advice and suggestions here useful.

I know I have and it helps to know there is support. There’s no judgement here, no pressure, just do what you can each day and claim back your life.

I can’t tell you where to start, but if you have a space that you feel comfortable in, your lounge, dining room or bedroom, start there. Make it a place of retreat so when you have had enough of clearing, you can go into that room shut the door and feel comfortable, and peacefull without having clutter around you.

Keep us posted, and take care.

[butterfly2018]

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[Kim2014]

Food cupboards: I have a system where every can has a colored spot label on the front where I can see it. The colors tell me what needs eating by the end of which month. For me this is part of living with food hoarding, but for others it might help deal with an overstock and get control while you run it down?

Sleeping with clothes etc on the bed? Not pathetic but definitely not good for the soul.

Glad to hear of your plan to clear your bed and put fresh bedding on it . Try to treat yourself with some respect, EVEN if it means putting the stuff in a pile on the floor, or bags. You run yourself down emotionally by treating yourself as not mattering. Make your bed a place of peace and comfort no matter what’s around it. Ideally then sort a bedside ‘table’ or space that you keep uncluttered, so you have what you need for bed/first thing, as part of giving yourself an environment to start your day from, regardless of the rest of the room. It will follow as you progress.

No people here will not be thinking ‘how hard can that be?’ People here will be recognising that there’s a big old gap between what something looks like as words on paper, and what it looks like in a cluttered room with nowhere for anything to go and a fear of failure. Everyone here either has their own problems or is close to someone who does and knows if it was all so simple this forum wouldn’t exist.

[CQ rightly says quote]If you want to clear out you have to remember 2 things

#1 stop things from coming in

#2 start getting things out.[/quote]

Learn it as a mantra.

You recycled a load of paperwork and got two bags of clothes out. Well done you!

Helpingmum never think that because you’re new to this, that what you talk about wont be helpful to someone else. Just recognizing situations, fears or the effects behaviors have on others, it’s all helpful to old and new alike. Even when something is said that may jar for someone, it can be an important moment of realization, and of to why.

[chaosqueenParticipant]

I noticed one more thing. Please stop considering everything that didn’t get done as a failure. You ran out of time? So you ran out of time. Taking stuff off the bed and stuffing it into bags is not a failure. It is making sure you can sleep well.

Sounds like you have my kind of attention span. Fluttering from one task to the next like a butterfly going from flower to flower. Making tasks smaller can help, setting a timer can help, if only to remind you that you were on a different task. A reward might help. I can read a chapter in my book when this task is done is what works for me.

[butterfly2018]

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[Author]

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