CONGRATULATIONS – BRILLIANT PROGRAMME

[Cheeky_Chappy]

I agree London1981, such a compelling programme and well executed. Sorry to read about your Aunt btw.

My father suffers from OCD so I can sympathise with how hard it is for anyone trying to help a family member with such a condition. Sadly there isn’t much help out there for them and generally family members are over looked with the destruction such a condition can cause.

Once again thank you for a great programme i was very impressed.

[Bexley Daughter]

A really fantastic programme which showed if nothing else, we are not on our own.
My mum is a prolific hoarder – this programme made me so very sad as I realised that there is very little I can do to help her unless she is ready for help herself. I would give up everything I own for a solution – the heating is about to pack up in her house which means she will spend the winter in the freezing cold even though she has money. Nobody can come in and fix it because nobody can get to it. And if the cold doesn’t get her, the carbon monoxide poisoning will from an out of date boiler.
God its so frustrating. Other than the hoarding she is an amazing grandmother but just unable to organise her life. Well done to Jasmine for being so brave – it is something I have been ashamed about for such a long time that it was a relief to find this website and see that I’m not on my own. Thank you so very much.

[Max]

I would like to echo these comments – I couldn’t have put it better! Thanks so much to Jasmine and her family, such a brave thing to do.
Max

[hoardman]

Hi Re your aunt and father: I am a hoarder and have written 2 or 3 other pieces on the site none of which really cover all my situation because they are done in a spontaneous style. Your post rang a particular bell with me because one of the few real fears I have lurking in the background is that the place-a 3 bed semi- could go up with me in it! One of my few friends raised this recently and of course I flippantly brushed it aside by creating a pseudo scientific argument that in some ways since most of my mess is “solid” piles of paper they would hinder the fire where plastic carpets, curtains etc would burn very fast. There may be some truth in this but it cannot be a valid argument to justify the mess. One of the primary aspects of this “disorder” that has not been mentioned is the tremendous power of prognostication and general indecisiveness that I and other hoarders experience. Many of us do recognise and acknowledge that we have a problem and do want to change but “not today” seems to be our mantra and now is always tomorrow. At least with this new site Jasmine has created a chance for both sides to say their piece and I hope that it may enable me to finally resolve an issue that has been a severe handicap to my living a reasonably normal and happy life for many years. Please dont feel in any way guilty about your aunt-it cannot be your fault that she died-its a bit simplistic but ultimately she did make her bed herself. As to your dad I dont know if you are living with him but again this is not your fault. It would be too easy for me to give suggestions that he seek help-first he would need to acknowledge that he has a problem! And I know from my own experience that simply recognising that I have a problem does not help at all because I feel powerless to do anything about it . I have had plenty of counselling on related problems with agoraphobia, panic attacks etc and they didnt help me because they did not go to the roots of the problem in a dynamic way but mostly just tried to find an explanation without success. One eminent psychiatrist at a group therapy session for people with “problem childhoods” used to sum up the session by giving his account of what people had been really saying [!]. When he came to me he said “And now we come to Tim-the master of obfuscation” I had no idea what he meant but its a psychological term for when you subconsciously avoid a painful issue by changing the subject on the flip of a word and putting up a smokescreen. Thus do I avoid ever really addressing the problem and I am sure that no progress can be made until I really get to the heart of the matter-just as with alcoholics, obese people, heavy smokers, shopaholics etc. I am sorry I cannot give you a magic potion-I wish that one existed. However I firmly believe that you must try to lead your own life and not suffer for someone else even if they are close rellies. I hope this has been of some use.

[Author]

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