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Kim2014
Sorry to not be around. Trying to keep my head above water, but currently going through another ‘no end in sight’ period of too many things going wrong no matter what I do. The move went very badly with lots of additional expense, injury and hospitalisation and I’m doing the last of it now. However have had to temporally take lots back into home to get out faster and avoid further fines.
During it has come the discovery that I
reallyno longer can do half of what I used to be able to and it’s going to be permanent. The cost of trying to just push through, is actually too high and I’m going to have to get used to that and adapt my life. In the middle of everything, things have gone badly wrong with home as well. We’re back to issues beyond our control between the landlords and building authorities and caught in the middle. (for now, with far more stuff than should be there all over the place!)
Don’t really know what’s going on, but an educated guess is some of the rebuilding work that was done didn’t meet planning permission and they’re in trouble.(which usually means we are too) Many unhappy people, much shouting, much bullying of residents, and demands to put lives on hold and be available constantly. It’s clearly going to be workman and planning official central here again.
I have managed to de-clutter one reasonably full van load, to the tip, and the move has helped wake me up further to
justhow much needs to be sorted through and disposed of. However I need the time and things to stop going wrong, and I’m having to work longer hours for less money. ChaosqueenA very big virtual hug to you. Whatever’s happened sounds pretty serious and major. I’m really sorry it’s hitting you so hard and hope it’s survivable and rescuable. Wishing you lots of strength.
DaisyShopping (and other methods of acquiring) are a very big part of hoarding disorder. My current big issue is being reliant on some types of coupons to make finances work. Ie: today is the last day to get 10p off per litre of fuel, if £60 is spent. I also have a £5 off voucher, so while this week’s grocery needs are around £30, I’ll be acquiring £65 of future groceries in order to reduce next week’s fuel bill by £9.
Coupons used to be something that allowed a few luxuries for Christmas, now it’s become a necessity just to offset rising fuel and essentials price rises (never mind fines) against a stagnant income.
It works out and is financially sensible if you can be self-controlled on what’s acquired, but I’m aware many can’t. (plus it means living with stockpiles.
bluesyjay
Hi Kim, have been thinking about you a lot and wondering how you were doing
so sorry to read all of this
I can only send you wishes of strength – which you have in spades, with your grit and resilience – and to recover physically and be well
hoping all the housing trouble will also resolve asap and in the least stressful way
and that there shall be more economical resources coming your way
wholeheartedly my best wishes in all areas Kim
chaosqueen
Hello Kim, besides being Chaosqueen, I am also Dramaqueen and I am sure it is all half as bad as it seems right now, we will just have to adjust to new responsibilities. We’ve done it before, so the job isn’t new. Last time We were simply more excited about it and circumstances seemed to be more favorable. It will require shifting time tables and I will not be thrown under the bus this time. I told my husband this will have to be worked around our family life and NOT vice versa. Sorry there is so much going wrong again. Congratulations on parting with a bus load full of stuff. I hope you can get rid of much more, just not having to pay for storage anymore should lighten the financial burden somewhat. I hope you can get a break some time soon! Make them jump through hoops. People have to work they will have to accept the fact that no one can be in 24/7. Being aware they are bullying residents might help you make it through it all unscathed! The tried before and lost! I really really really hope things work out this time
Daisy
Hi Kim, I have been thinking of you as well and wondering how you were getting on. I’m sorry to hear that you have so much going on and want to send you best wishes and hugs. A big well done to you for getting rid of a van load in the middle of things.
Hi Chaosqueen,
I can see from the responses to talking about shopping that a new thread about it would be good . I’m not up to starting one now but hope either myself or someone else will soon. I like what you said about timetable needing to be worked around family life, it sounded assertive and positive.
Hi everyone, I’ve been doing some declutterring work at my Mum’s and trying to put everything I’ve learnt and been putting into practice myself to work there . I know there a seperate threads for this but I feel at home here so wanted to talk about it here. The work we did was for workman to come into every room of the flat and was my Mum was facing threatening letters so it was getting serious. In the end we were ready for the workman’s appointment and it went ahead without problems. I’m very proud of my Mum because she was able to make decisions about lots of items to be thrown out and to prioritise (with help). I’m feeling tired and a bit fragile but very glad we did the work we did.
that sounds great Daisy! glad you managed to make some progress with your mum
I think CQ’s idea of a separate thread around the shopping thing is a great idea, just for me this is not yet the right time
I am feeling very fragile myself and not ready to write about it or think about it,
it just brings me to a place of massive shame and a sense of failure right now
hope Kim is doing well
hugs to all who want to receive them
Daisy, this of what I understand is a thread to anything active related to clutter so you are in the right place! Sounds like incredible results! You 2 better pat each other on the bag and confirm just how well you did. Than take a little breather before you continue!
Ladies, in case you feel brave…the shopping thread is up and running!
:lol: Hi Bluesyjay and Chaosqueen, Thank you for your posts about the declutterring My Mum and I did. I’ve been fragile since then so sorry it’s taken me a while to reply. I’m still really pleased at the work we did and my Mum now seems motivated to do more. I think she finds she can only declutter when I’m there which I didn’t realise before but I think I’m happy with that and we can do more work when I’m there.
I’ve been feeling more like my usual self although still having periods of crying. This is something I expect to explore in therapy. I havn’t done any declutterring of my own for a while but in the last few days I have been looking at my housework and thinking … Mmm I seem to have got behind …so been doing some cleaning in the bedroom, kitchen and bathroom. Also I’ve been doing lots of washing to be more up to date with that. I’ve done two nice things for myself – firstly I’ve bought blackout blind (with birthday money) and been putting it up every night in my bathroom. The existing blind is bamboo and let’s in light so I feel I have more privacy and the room is darker. The second is I’ve ordered more bedding from a catalogue so that I can change bedding once a week (it seems to be taking a long time to dry at the moment!). Also I’ve got some fairy lights to put up in the bedroom , although it may take some time for me to put them up ! All this gelos make my bedroom a lot nicer to be in
Best wishes,
Dx
Hi Daisy! 
that sounds lovely!!
I think it is so important to identify things that make our life easier, more agreeable!
I need to look into some curtains that block drafts as my windows are very old and do not close well, and I cannot afford to replace them now
the problem is I would need to set up a second rod because I keep some almost transparent curtains during the day to let the light in, only for privacy, so I need to figure that out
I did buy some stuff to seal the window but the one I put in the past just came off…will try again
and I love the fairy lights!! I had bought some on sale last year after the holidays because my intention was to set them up as well, but right now the flat is not – yet – in a condition to welcome them
love the idea of the fairy lights in your bedroom hope that make it feel snuggly and magical
fairy lights and candles are wonderful
I hope you are feeling better
just write when you feel like it
it really really has helped me so much to write in here, even when I am blabbering alone
:lol: for a whileremember to take care of yourself before and while helping your mum out, hope she is also well
sending you a virtual hug if you want it
Hi Everyone, Hi Bluesyjay, thank you for your last reply and it did help me
I am better than I was although still crying sometimes and I expect this as I am seeng a psychotherapist at present. I’m also feeling positive about doing things so started doing two new activities and started doing declutterring again.
Throwing things out:
Books- I’ve sorted through two piles of books and given away about 16 books.
Dressmaking – I always wanted to take this up as a hobby but not got round to it so I’ve given away a gadget to chalk mark for skirts . I’ve had it for years and never used it.
Clothes – two tshirts have gone out to a charity shop.
A blind – this has made it to the rubbish bin. I broke this as I was trying to put it up – probably could have returned it but never got round to doing that so the bin was the next best thing !
Frog in the well
Ok not dehoarding but more desqualloring , more attempts over the past week to reclaim the kitchen, I’ll admit to be still struggling with the basics which other people seem to take in their stride. Oh well, the shelves got a bit more organized, and I know that I definitely have enough cheese biscuits to last 6 months !! Watching some more decluttering videos to get back into the disposal mind-set,
Noticed a couple of cracked bowls in the kitchen which I may be able to let myself remove soon.
Mostly mentally tagging things which might go, need time to allow myself to let go.
Mental tagging is a great thing! I too sometimes just need to get used to the thought of setting some things free! I have been working on my kitchen the last 3 weeks. I got through every cupboard except 2. They are clean and organized. I have one empty shelf, and had 5 empty shelves in the living room because I moved the fine china to the kitchen. I am proud to say that there isn’t really anything in the kitchen that is not used. I passed on some serving bowls to a friend ( I have had them for 10 years, used them once and don’t like them, but they were a gift…you know?) and tossed a few items. I managed to clear the kitchen in bits without blocking it and making it useless for days (like I did in the past) and am hoping to be finished with it tomorrow. I dread the last 2. one has all the big pots and pans, and I think I might find it clean anyway :lol: so I might be wasting my time doing it, the other is the one with the trash and I know for a fact it is anything but clean….Oh well. I hope I willbe able to report on it tomorrow!ShedTheShame
chaosqueen wrote:I have one empty shelf, and had 5 empty shelves in the living room
Great job,CQ! Love to hear about EMPTY shelves 
Big step, for me, 18 books levered off the shelves over the weekend and ready to remove from my life.. The next step is more scary, , the language books stacked under the spare bed,,, there’s a lot of fear there, thoughts that my mother might forget how to speak English, and revert back to her native tounge, … Not that any amount of books could prevent that,
Will need to pluck up the courage to approach the heap of dictionaries and phrase books. Meanwhile I think I shall escape into the safer, more mundane maintenance tasks of washing up, and chasing cobwebs.
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