eBay excuses!

[Breakingpoint11Participant]

Update: I printed out some things for her to read this evening, including information about how hoarding affects others around her. She literally said: As if I am going to read of that and laughed.

Anything I say is laughed off and she does not care or take anything we say seriously, even when I say it impacts my health.

Does anyone else feel like this frustration levels just cannot take any more!!!!

[NanaParticipant]

I would gather up the printouts and put them in the recycling, then look up car boot sales – if the things are worth offering for sale. There have been a few car boot sales starting up around here in the last few months.
I am a hoarder, but things are a bit better than they were – I have space to do things now. At one point I was telling myself that it was crazy to go on the way I was, unable to use the space in this big old house, and I could not go on the same way any longer.
As your mother doesn’t take anything you say seriously then there really isn’t anything you can do to persuade her and all I can think of is starting to do what she has claimed is her intent – sell the things.
Your posts indicate that you have had help in the past in clearing things out – perhaps you need to call out for assistance again.

As the things are brought in with the intention of selling them then setting up a routine of removing them on a regular basis might be the key – I would not suggest this if these were personal possessions.

If you can get a room clear then perhaps some redecoration using the money from the sales – assuming there is some.

This is obviously more than one person can sort out, and you might need to ask for help from your GP – alerting them to the problem might be a good idea anyway even though the present circumstances are not normal and all health services are overstretched. Asking family first wold be the best option, but everyone is so busy these days…..

[OddsocksParticipant]

I’ll do a proper message, but just to say its worth reading the section for friends and family? Menu along the top, under ‘logon’? Its written by the daughter of a hoarder.

 

[OddsocksParticipant]

We are people who hoard supporting each other- not experts

Also look at

<u>www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/hoarding/about-hoarding/</u> In particular <u>www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/hoarding/for-friends-and-family/ (I havent made the links as sometimes  that means cant submit)</u>

She has put you in such a difficult position. You have tried being supportive. Worth carrying on, including that if she decides to tackle it there are tactics that could help. Which you could support her if she wanted you to, or on her own. You can let her know that you can help with the admin of selling on eBay.

So you are left with confrontation, which is difficult.Tell her calmly (if you can) the impact her hoarding has on other people. Don’t keep repeating this- you have given her the information and its using up your energy. You need to look after yourself.

I’m not sure what situation you are in. Its a last straw, but if you are adult and can afford it you may be left with the choice of actually moving out.

[chaosqueenParticipant]

MY question is along the same way. Whos house is it? Yours? Your mother’s? Her house her rules. If you have no way to move out, can you move in with Nan? I am a hoarder. Most people who actively post are hoarders here. All I can say is if she doesn’t see a problem, there will be no change.

To see if her intent is real on selling things maybe take time each week to post things on ebay with her or offer to ship packages?

If this is affecting your mental health and it is her house the safest way for you is to move out.

[OddsocksParticipant]

Yes, I know that will be hard to read but very unfortunately may be true. You could try some negotiation (ag rooms she doesnt fill up) but its difficult if she doesnt see it as a problem. Despite family telling it her it is. She knows that- its shown by her ‘smuggling in’ items

Meantime, its good if include as much as possible of your leisure time doing something out of the house?

An obvious strategy people consider is buying a storage unit. Unfortunately there is the risk that clutter  builds up again in the home and you are stuck paying for the unit too.

 

 

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