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Oddsocks.
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Oddsocks
Sorry- I dont check here often. S9rry that you are having to contend with a callous hr person!
Well done for the heap in the garden going down! The neighbours have no right to complain about your garden, but they have less reason if the pile is actually going down.
So agree with buying things again because you have lost one! I lost a pair of specs, and it cost me over £100! That’s an example of there not being a being any benefit of having 2. If the original ones actually turn up!
I’m not sure what you mean about layers? Dont bother with anything that you dont find helpful.
You could try 10 minutes and see how you get on? Anything that helps is well worth a try! I’m not even doing 10 mins. My bedroom is above waist height. I have been going through things, but only got rid of a few. I am completely overwhelmed.
What happens a lot is thinking that of course it would be good to do some decluttering, but not just now!
Somuchstuff
Things are at all heights here. It feels completely overwhelming here too. I do not have enough time.
I have been trying doing ten minutes at a time. It has made piles tidier and cleaner, but I am not actually decluttering.
I can see now I should have done more when I was off work sick.
Now I am back at work I am not managing. My sleep is very broken, and I am very tired all the time.
All I am doing is trying to stop everything getting worse.
chaosqueen
That sounds like a very stressful situation! 10 min is not really working if you don’t live at home. What would have to be done to be able to move back? I guess that would be my focus now. Try to get back so #1 you stop losing time and energy travelling #2 this will help with your relationship with your friend.
Does the term “churning” mean anything to you? Churning is when you feel like you are working but you are not really doing what you are supposed to do, which is parting with things. When you churn, things get sorted and resorted and moved around and you can spend hours on it without ever really doing anything about it. I struggle with it A LOT! So that could be something to start with.
One way to keep yourself from churning is to set goals like:
- Throw away x items. I recommend keeping the number small. You can always part with more
- If you want to keep something you have to have a permanent home for it. No throwing it in a box to put away later
- When you are done put what you part with in the bin/recycling outside
- If you have things to donate or to pass on, get them out of the house ASAP
10 min:
here is how the 10 min work for me. I set a timer. I too am easily distracted and my new theory is that a high percent of hoarders must have AD(H)D to a certain degree. 10 min is a time one can handle. IF you can’t go down to 5. Pick a chore, set the timer. Focus on the chore. E.g. decluter the top shelf of the book shelf. When your time is up and you are not done you have permission to not finish. Because you did your 10 min. This way you get a sense of achievement. If you are in a good place and you want to keep going , hey! Good for you. Once you realize you are not making progress. Stop.
A couple of years I used this approach on my house. The rule was 10 min per day per room. I had the advantage of having a day to clean out my bedroom completely. So I always started in the clean room with my 10 min. I usually didn’t need them in there. So what ever time I had left I used on room number 2. Which was clean a month later.
I know it feels like we can never get done with it, but we can.I recommend starting in the same spot every day. Lets say that book shelf. You start with the top shelf. Even if you think its clear you check it. Remove anything that might have ended up their. and then keep going. You will get a little further every day and then one day, the book shelf is done. then you move on to a box, another shelf, the couch, a drawer. What ever you feel you can handle best next.
It’s being persistent that makes a difference. I am 99.7 percent sure I have ADD. S0 switching the area I work in after 10 min helps me staying focused. And You can really get A LOT done in 10 min.
Nana started with a routine of 3 tasks every morning, and I think it was Oddsocks who recommended tying things to a certain task. like do x right after breakfast and y every time you have the kettle on waiting for the water to boil.
You can do this! Believe in yourself!
Chaosqueen sorry I didn’t answer you. Something happened here.
Thank you for your useful post. Churning is what has happened a lot, and I did ask my Dr about ADHD as I think I do have it and it would explain a lot, but the Dr is not keen to help as there are very long waiting lists here.
I have been working on things here, but the progress is very slow and there is not much to show for a lot of work.
I can see that only getting rid of lots stuff will make any difference, but I am struggling to let go and not to collect more. At least I can see it now. I couldn’t before.
Nana
Perhaps there is one small thing you could do o get things started. For me having the kitchen sink clean and available from the start of each day really made a difference.
I could then clear off the cooker and the freezer lid, plus there were plates, pans and cutlery waiting to be used.
The excessive amounts of cutlery could be sorted out and a lot of it disposed of, and the bowls and mugs too, freeing up space in the cupboards.
One small opening up led to the start of quite big changes.
All the time have been sorting out, I have been living in the house and going on with not just my everyday tasks but a lot of the things I always intended to do at some point, except the painting by numbers. I realised I was never going to be doing that and got rid of the damaged boxes and dried up paints. It actually made me feel better.I have not done much really for the last few weeks. The friend I am staying with got sick and I am looking after them. For now they are happier that they are getting something out of what I have done to them. But it is taking up a lot of time and energy and not getting anything sorted out. I also cant sleep any more and am always tired. Dr was no help.
I have also had a big amount of stuff dumped on me in sad circumstances. A friend died and her family said there were some things she wanted me to have. When they told me I didn’t think about it really.
My lodger called to tell me that they had turned up at my house and dumped bags and bags of stuff and furniture in my hall. Most of the contents of a packed van. I only managed to sort a small amount. The rest has had to go to a storage unit for now to deal with later.I have had to bring a lot of work home to catch up with what I should have done there. I am so behind and under pressure. I can not afford to lose my job.
I still have Christmas things scattered around to sort and put away and it is February already. More things came in as presents even though I asked people not to. I did manage to get the used wrapping paper and the tree taken away by council recycling people. The friend I am staying with, has a better council that makes it so much easier to do than mine.
I do actually keep the sink and bath clean and usable. Not so much the drainer. I also keep the floors clean and try to deal with dust. It does not make me get rid of stuff and that is what I need to be doing. I know what I need to do. Why is it so hard to do it?
I had to accept that what was hard to do was what I should push myself to do, without trying to analyse why I was not doing it.
By making disposing of things part of my every day routine, making it my normality, I could make progress.Progress here is very slow.
I am still staying with my friend. She is still very unwell.
Being able to help her out has repaired some of the damage done to the friendship but is tiring.
I have taken a lot of stuff home. But it is just piled up there.
I am finding I have no time and energy after work and am having to bring work home every weekend to keep up as I am not getting on with learning new IT systems.
I have found a builder who seems to know how to fix the damage to my lodgers’ room. I am hoping they will be coming next week.
Sorry to hear things are still tough. Its kind of you to help out your friend.
And bringing home work means you dont get the chance to rest and not think about it. Is there anything at work you could talk to your boss about to reduce your workload? And maybe having time to learn about the IT there? That all depends on if you have an approachable boss?
Your energy is very precious! I dont follow my own advice, but wondering if you can just do a small amount (even 5 minutes?)
I do hope that the builder comes and fixes the damage soon.
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