Great to read so many posts – nice to feel less alone!

[Remy]

This is the problem with a lot of this age group. They went through the war and are too scared to throw anything out. Having said that my DH has an Aunt of 90 and I.ve know other people in that age group who are neat and tidy and don’t hoard things. They take pride in their homes. I thinks it just in the charateristic or the mental health of the person concerned. Is it that things have got to this stage and they just don’t know how to tackle it. Also its taking away the familiar around them. I would just love to get one of those house DIY teams in for a day pack my Mum off and when she came back the house was all lovely and clean and fresh…but you know what I bet within a couple of months it would be heading back to where it is now.

I am sorry things are so hard for you especially as you are living back home and taking on the role of carer. Plus the expense of the storage is a nightmare. Does she remember its in storage? Would she know if you just arranged to have it all taken away and tipped? Does she ask for any of the things. Its amazing that they just don’t realise that an expense like that is crazy isn’t it. I must admit at least when I had the first big clear out with my Mum (tip of the Iceberg) I said to her a few days later…”see you haven’t missed any of that stuff” and she said that she was glad to have some extra room. But its like you say all the dust and crap that is festering under it. They don’t and can’t do any housework. If she is prepared to let you sort it just get your gloves on and a mask and ruthlessy tip it out. I read on here someone said if they haven’t used for 6 months then get rid of it cos they aren’t going to use it and I think that is a good rule of thumb.

I understand what you say also about the Asthma because my Mum has chest problems and when we cleared the clothes from her bedroom and decluttered a bit the level of dust was horrific and I cannot believe that she is sleeping and living in that situation.

Good luck

[hoardman]

I am a hoarder and often wonder where I got it from-I have posted a brief summary on the site-regarding parents,my dad fought the war in the army and my N London mum was at the War Office through the war and had to look after her elderly parents so had little time for the fun often portrayed in the media. She often claimed that londoners had a worse time of rationing because the Govt were keen not to create a honeypot that would draw people to london. Of necessity she had to Make do and mend and said that by the end of the war she had holes in her shoes and all her few clothes were threadbare-she was married in Oct 45 in a dress made from a saved length of curtaining. Despite all this my parents were not hoarders-the opposite in fact -they were always very neat and tidy and very much lived by the attitude that they only bought stuff they needed and “a place for everything and everything in its place”. They moved around a lot working overseas so they had to be organised. I feel this nomadic existence set me on the path to hoarding but I have a sister who had the same childhood and although she is not a “neatfreak” she is reasonably organised perhaps helped by her long term partner who is very much a neat and tidy man. I doubt this helps you much but may illustrate how complex Hoarding and Life in general is! Best wishes Hoardman

[spectrum]

feag wrote:

>

also a big fear
> of spiders holds us back, as moving things can make things appear.

Just wanted to say that CBT therapy can really help with fear of spiders. Also, some of the zoos in the UK do fear of spider sessions which are supposed to have great results.
Good luck with it!

[Author]

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