So far from Normality ——-

[ice9116]

It is really really hard. And by the time we can see anything past the clutter blindness it is so far gone even attempting to get it back feels like an impossible task.

Have had a malfunctioning sink before. If it helps. Taking out the squiggly pipe underneath and replacing with a bucket works fairly well and dishes can be washed in the bath.

You said you took videos to monitor progress. Did you see any?

[ShedTheShameParticipant]

Frog in the well wrote:

part is avoiding the issue as much as possible

Can totally relate, Frog in the well. I completely avoid walking into my living room because termites are eating through the hardwood floor. As if avoiding it is going to solve the problem :roll: Certain elements of one bathroom don’t work; other elements of the other bathroom don’t work. And yet I do feel I’m working hard on fighting my hoarding behaviors

I think most “civilians” don’t realize HOW MUCH there is to address with hoarding issues. The thoughts and behaviors affect and seep into SO many different aspects of life

Give yourself credit for the work you are doing and what you’ve accomplished.

(((hugs)))

StS

[Frog in the well]

ice9116 wrote:

It is really really hard. And by the time we can see anything past the clutter blindness it is so far gone even attempting to get it back feels like an impossible task.

Very true ice, and sometimes it gets so overwhelming, that the brain just switches off from the situation… The videos do show isolated areas being reorganised, but if I’m honest, they mostly show an egg and flow of the tide of clutter, as it gets moved about… I am cross with myself that after getting the place suitable for family to visit back in June, it has become chaotic again.

[Frog in the well]

ShedTheShame wrote:

I think most “civilians” don’t realize HOW MUCH there is to address with hoarding issues. The thoughts and behaviors affect and seep into SO many different aspects of life

Yes it’s become tightly enmeshed in so many different aspects of life, it’s become a type of self-destructive behaviour , which “Normals” just can’t get their head round. .. the next group meeting isn’t for more than a week, so maybe I’ll be able to report some forward movement to them

I’m trying to keep away from the despair that I’ve felt previously about my inability to plan and implement strategies to declutter and desquallor, but I think the pitfall of avoiding the emotions is that the clutter-blindness gets harder to penetrate..

Oh well, not quite bedtime, so will find a few bits to put back in their proper places.

Your termite problem does sound challenging, are there some actions you can take against them without needing to get a professional in, or are you racing against time to clear the house for workmen before the critters chew it up too badly ❔

[ShedTheShameParticipant]

Frog in the well wrote:

Your termite problem does sound challenging, are there some actions you can take against them without needing to get a professional in, or are you racing against time to clear the house for workmen before the critters chew it up too badly

Ohhhh, this is the biggest elephant in the room that I avoid out of anxiety. Even though I know my fears over the process should be less of a concern than the termites — I’ve felt too afraid to take on the big task and continue to avoid facing it.

It’s not so much about clearing the house for workmen to access. It’s about all the prep and logistics and chemicals and — I’m embarrassed to admit — all the plastic bags that will be a byproduct.

A friend of mine who doesn’t have hoarding issues had to go through termite tenting and said he hated the experience.

The notion of the entire house being encased in chemicals for days freaks me out. I have 2 cats and would need to find a place for all of us to go for several days. They instruct you to double-bag all edibles in plastic bags. I worry that the gas chemicals will still reach the food. The thought of all those plastic bags going into a landfill causes me anxiety. But so does having termites Throwing out plastic bags is a real challenge of mine. Although, these will have been contaminated by the chemicals… so not candidates for any type of reuse. They would have to be thrown out.

I’m even having difficulty writing this response because it’s a reality I have to face but am avoiding But I wanted to respond to your question.

[chaosqueenParticipant]

SIDE STEP ALERT

How much edible stuff do you have in the house? IF you have to leave, how about simply leaving no food behind? I am starting to see that avoiding things often takes a lot more energy than getting it done.

Frog, it sounds like you are almost as worried about not being able to report progress then you are about letting the plumber in.

My head is killing me, so I am not sure who brought up self destructive behavior. I feel that might be the main cause for me. I seem to want to punish myself for something. Not even sure what. You deserve a working kitchen sink. Trust me, you do. So. It is not draining. It could simply be that your siphon is clogged up and that is something you could take car of yourself.

I have to do it regularly at our house. Biggest issue for newbies, not being sure what goes back where or not being sure where seals go. And one more thing. once you put it back together test to see make sure it is not leaking!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=77nZ9wqIqvM

Music is horrible but it shows just how easy this could be if the problem is the siphon.

[bluesyjayParticipant]

just a note to say that I am on and off here and participating emotionally

but a having a hard time being able to write

and to write anything sensible

@frog

I have at this moment my wc in my only toilet which does not flush and cannot let anyone in so I am flushing it with a bucket!

talk about medieval

I can totally relate to all that you say the clutter blindness

I have moments of looking around and being struck with how on earth did I get here (again!!!!)

the house has been so much better!! and now it is at one of its worst moments again

@StS

what about recycling all the plastic bags you may already have in your house – you may not have many

so that their last noble use will be to save your house?

you are part of the planet too in a deep way, all is interconnected, you cannot cut yourself out thinking that what happens to you is not also happening to the rest of the universe at an energetic level

@CQ

sending you healing for your headache

yes self punishment

yes

for what I have no idea

for being alive my depressive brain says

sending you all loads of Love and Light

[bluesyjayParticipant]

just a note to say that I am on and off here and participating emotionally

but a having a hard time being able to write

and to write anything sensible

@frog

I have at this moment my wc in my only toilet which does not flush and cannot let anyone in so I am flushing it with a bucket!

talk about medieval

I can totally relate to all that you say the clutter blindness

I have moments of looking around and being struck with how on earth did I get here (again!!!!)

the house has been so much better!! and now it is at one of its worst moments again

@StS

what about recycling all the plastic bags you may already have in your house – you may not have many

so that their last noble use will be to save your house?

you are part of the planet too in a deep way, all is interconnected, you cannot cut yourself out thinking that what happens to you is not also happening to the rest of the universe at an energetic level, you are as much worthy of being saved and taken care of!

@CQ

sending you healing for your headache

yes self punishment

yes same thought here about the self destructiveness

for what I have no idea

for being alive my depressive brain says

sending you all loads of Love and Light

[Frog in the well]

Thank you chaos Queen, you are right I should allow myself to have a functional home, , but it’s as if there is a warped internal need to create a situation where we have to berate ourselves…….

Hope your headaches aren’t too frequent.

The broken sink has got a temporary fix, thanks to a tin can and lots of plumbers putty. but don’t dare test it till the weekend

A few years ago I would of laughed if anyone had suggested I was a perfectionist, but I’m realising that it is part of the problem

---

as well as the challenges around making disposal decisions

Yes, having declared the intention to work towards fixing the plumbing there is an anxiety about their judgement,but it has given me the incentive to act.

[NanaParticipant]

When my kitchen sink was blocked recently I got it working again just by removing the trap underneath it, which was full of peas.

Recently I started to buy smaller peas, and about half of them are small enough to go down the holes in the plug – and that caused the problem. Now, no peas in the sink to be collected up later… I have put a metal sieve in the sink and leftovers are rinsed off into that, to be emptied regularly.

I sometimes amaze myself by the simplicity of the changes I need to make to stop causing trouble for myself.

Replacement plastic plumbing is usually quite cheap.

[chaosqueenParticipant]

100 % with you on the little sieves. The make life so much better. I put mine in the dishwasher every now and then.

Oh. and BTW, what exactly is normal?

[Author]

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