#hellobeth

[hellobeth]

YAY! I’m in

Fought my way into the spare room & have a new perspective on the room. Haven’t seen it from this angle for some years now :oops:
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So where has it all gone? TaDah![attachment=1]photo.JPG[/attachment]

Into the cleared end of the lounge ready for me to list on ebay (still to put away my christmas sacks).

And this is the unsorted end of the lounge
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Still some work to do then

Ooh! just realised I have managed to save small photos Will have to work out how I did that :lol:

[chaosqueenParticipant]

HAPPY DIGGING! Looks like you got quite a bit done! I am away from home for a few days at my parents house and am hoping to find everything that’S here that is still mine and to get rid of it….

[Precious-things]

WOW! You are doing great! If my after pics were as good as your before pics I’d be happy! :lol:

P.S. My Christmas tree is still up and I have a bag of presents I haven’t put away in my lounge too! :o

[jannequin]

Had to log back in again because only just saw these pics! RESULT! Wish the end product of all my work looked as good that room! I have a theory that hoarders are actually quite good at employing systems of organisation…we just have too many other toys to play with in our heads! It kept coming up in my decluttering sessions that I’d made attempts at really good organising at points in the past!

LOVE the idea of an Ebay ‘shop’! Maybe I can set one up in the bedroom. Good luck with business!

[hellobeth]

Precious-things wrote:

WOW! You are doing great! If my after pics were as good as your before pics I’d be happy! :lol:

P.S. My Christmas tree is still up and I have a bag of presents I haven’t put away in my lounge too! :o

Hi Precious

Not sure which before picture you mean, the one in the lounge or the spare room. The area to be sorted in the lounge is not the original before; it’s the one from Christmas when I organised everything that hadn’t been sorted yet into a smaller area and screened off. Have only got as far as moving the screen aside; maybe this foto gives a less flattering view :lol:

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The spare room also is not the original before picture either. The boxes reached the ceiling as did the boxes that were stacked on top of the wardrobe; maybe another unflattering view of what has still to be done

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Agree with you all I have got results to show but the ‘to be tackled’ is STILL as overwhelming as the before ‘overwhelmed’ if that makes sense. I suppose what I’m trying to say is it feels exactly the same as it did when I started; like it was all a dream.

[jannequin]

Totally understand what you’re saying, hellobeth, about it feeling just the same as when you started, and like a dream.

My flat is definitely 50% better than it was a year ago, after lots of work and input from the declutterer. I know it’s a zillion times better because I now have the energy and enthusiasm to tackle it, and the knowledge and experience to know that I just need to do a bit at a time because I can’t fix it all in a three-hour session. So, the total of 50%, plus a zillion, minus three…???

The answer is that it’s in our nature to feel the overwhelm. Actually we quite like it, it gives us something soft to push against during which time we don’t engage with the real world. That’s why some people get to the 100% cleared stage and then just go right back to the beginning again.

You’ve done so well, and you have A PLAN. Me too! Onward!

[chaosqueenParticipant]

I wondered about that too,Jannequin, that my reason for hoarding is not having to deal with the real world…

[creaking_floors]

It’s just like our world only much tidier…… :lol:

[hellobeth]

Hi everyone I really shouldn’t be here :oops: that wasn’t the plan for today!

I have been trying to get to the bottom of why I can’t seem to get back on track & finish the job I started. I know I have finishing issues but that knowledge isn’t helping me move forward. I have an idea concerning the organised clutter at one end of my lounge. It gives me a false sense of security. I can look at it and kid myself it is evidence that I am in control. To actually deal with it would mean spreading out across the floor again and the fear is I might not be able to take control of it as before. The safe option is to settle for the compact hoard.

I have tried the tried & tested approach of making a small start which stirs up enthusiasm to do more. But so far it’s not working Every small step is a struggle I don’t want to attempt again. :roll: I suppose I should credit myself that I have spread 3 crates from the top of the pile to the table (which of course is now covered :x ) so that I could get to the 2 crates of shoes to list on ebay. I listed one pair yesterday And I think one of the barriers for me listing items was all the faff of working out postage. But I see that ebay now has a recommended postage price for similar items so that is a motivator.

The important aspect for me, however, is I have begun the dismantling process even though just the thought of it starts the panic attack & accompanying nausea This facing of our fears is overrated don’t you think until we come out the other side that is

I am thinking of adopting a new strategy in the next stage of my decluttering. In the first stage, I did nothing else. Every day was devoted to getting rid of clutter; it was my full-time job. Now I can actually move through my rooms rather than clamber over mounds & along walkways, the urgency has dried up. Workmen can get in, unless they need to get in the spare room (for spare room, read junk room); they would just think I lived in an untidy mess. I had thought once the house was all done, I could start having a social life because I would be able to invite people in.

However, I have decided it might be a good idea to start doing some of the things I wanted to do but wouldn’t allow myself to do until all was perfect ( :!: ). Hence, the purchases for craft work. I visited a sewing circle (actually, quilting) and have decided to join. First session tomorrow but might not happen as I’ve spent all day at the computer instead of preparing what I am going to take to do :roll: Meetings are once a fortnight so it won’t eat up a lot of time and I will be making friends. My reasoning is, that while I am not allowing myself to do anything until the house is fully cleared, I am sort of punishing myself which is counter-intuitive. It pressurises me rather than inspires me. I really did enjoy the decluttering :lol: I suppose it was a ‘creative’ activity; I was making ‘space’. So, I’m going to see if it helps to consider that project as completed.

I have also started studying again, with Future Learn which is an offshoot from the Open University offering short free courses online. It involves participating in discussions (though that is optional) so I’m doing something I enjoy & practicing my social skills too. The plus side is I don’t need to invite anyone home yet

The idea then is to spend SOME time on decluttering as opposed to ALL my time. :idea: :idea: :idea: Lightbulb moment :!: Just realised the connection with the fear of spreading out my compacted hoard. I’m scared of spreading out into the world. (So you are right Jannequin ) Arrrghhhh! No wonder I’m struggling with the next step.

But I’ve made a start. I will now go & list a few more things on ebay.

[Precious-things]

Hello,

Reading these posts makes me sad. Our whole lives have been dominated by this awful hoarding disorder. I can’t even buy anything now without a huge sense of guilt.

I know what you mean about starting new projects as well. I have things stashed away that I tell myself I will do when my house is in order… but what if it is never in order? That scares me a bit. I love knitting and I knit for charity. I inherited a lot of my Gran’s knitting things when she died so I’ve got bits stashed all over the place. It is something I actively use/do and yet when I buy a new pattern or a certain shade of wool that I WILL USE I feel dreadful for bringing more stuff in. Why can’t I be kinder to myself? I mean it’s OK to buy things you are actively using right? Or am I making excuses? It’s as if I feel guilty for having a hobby – the one thing that takes my mind off everything else!

Selling things on ebay does take a while but here are some tips:

*Royal Mail have 2 new ‘small parcel’ sizes which means you can send parcels of that size second class for £2.60 which is reasonable from a buyers point of view. See if you can find 2 boxes, each one roughly the same size as the parcel dimensions given on the Royal Mail website. That way, when you wrap anything you just have to make sure they fit into either one of the boxes and weigh less than 1kg. Much easier than measuring everything every time!

*After taking photos of the item you are selling, wrap it in a clean bag, or tissue, or even a jiffy bag – whatever is easisest. Label it and then put it somewhere organised and out of the way. I have a large bag under the stairs ONLY for items currently on ebay. There is nothing worse than selling something and then not being able to find it!

*If you have a messy house, keep one door free from clutter and use it to hang garments on (one at a time) when you take photos. That way you won’t be able to see any background mess which might put buyers off. If you are tidy enough you could use a wardrobe door or something else with a plain background, but try to keep ‘mess’ out of the photo. If taking pics of other items I lay a clean towel on the floor so no dog hairs appear in my pics.

[jannequin]

Good posts here, hellobeth and preciousthings, and good advice for the day when I actually start selling some stuff.

You’re right that real life (and the interests and hobbies that we love) shouldn’t be put on hold. It’s testament to how large the problem looms in our lives, that it just seems to eclipse everything else and we forgot why we got here in the first place. We can only see the horrible results!

The rules that worked for me, and were forged when I was working on mum’s house were…accept that you can’t do it all in a couple of days, and work for only three hours before stopping and doing something to recharge your own batteries.

My life is moving on a bit but that’s highlighting other issues. I bought two beautiful new chairs at auction. They’re still in the car because I don’t have room to get them through the front door, or anywhere proper to put them! That’s my immediate project.

I was just looking online for a new washing machine. Mine is 30 years old and still working! I’m sure when I replace it I will get one that causes lots of problems! But living in a flat, I want one that dries the stuff as well. So I find one I like. Then with a sinking feeling I realise that although the kitchen was OK enough to allow for the new boiler to go in, that was an emergency and needed to be done. Kitchen still needs loads of work. So that’s the project once I finish the immediate project… :twisted:

Just for now, getting off the sofa and the tablet has to be my first challenge. Did I say onward? :roll:

[chaosqueenParticipant]

I don’t think so….ONWARD! SHOUT IT from the rooftops! And I agree. If you are not allowed to do things you like what joys would life bring? Hoarding is challenging enough, one needs to put their mind on other things.

[hellobeth]

Hi guys

Great tips for ebay selling Precious Spent some hours listing items yesterday & disappointed to find their were only five – it felt like I had done at least ten :o I am trying to tell myself that I would be patting others on the back for dealing with just one item :roll:

Although I didn’t make it to the sewing group this time, I have kept up with my studies. I have also spent some days researching & organising a secret bash for my son’s upcoming 40th birthday.

Stellios reiterated what Jannequin pointed out – that our hoard is a comfort blanket; soooo impractical :lol: I am concerned that ABSOLUTELY NOTHING has left my house this year :oops: except for weekly rubbish & recycling. Conversely, such a lot has come in :roll:

Hopefully, when my stuff starts selling & I resume my trips to the post office, I will feel like I am getting somewhere again & motivated to carry other stuff to the charity shop. I have sold my bed (& there are 17 watching too) but I won’t be dragging that down the road :lol:

Sending encouraging vibes to you Jannequin as you tackle the kitchen

[hellobeth]

Hi there

Been doing a fair bit of shopping recently as retail therapy works for me :oops: still recovering hoarder remember Apart from two Christmas gifts, I am buying things to make my home look nice when I get to the end of my journey, like window blinds, pictures, photo frames etc. I’m trying to make this compulsion work for me rather than against me.

Carpets were not going down until I had finished decorating every room but having realised that way of thinking no longer works to encourage me, I went ahead with the purchase. The drawback of course is the fitter had to come & measure up the rooms so a fair bit of churning went on to accommodate the use of a tape measure in at least one point on each wall :roll: And as the kitchen floor is done, I used the hoarders’ trusty standby of piling stuff into the kitchen & closing the door :lol:

Here’s the good bit boys & girls – the fitters have a great gadget which means they don’t get down on their knees at ‘dust level’ or need, embarrassingly, to contort their bodies to adapt to the gaps and squeeze their hand through to reach the wall with a tape measure :roll: No, after warning the guy there were a few places where some physical feats would be required, he pulled out his technological marvel (stop it!) and beamed a red spot to the wall on the other side of the room. Voila Sorted

I’ve also ordered a proper sprung sofa (4 years interest free credit) for my lounge. My daughter took mine when she rented an unfurnished house a year ago. It was old, cat-shredded & uncomfortable. I’ve been using a truckle bed to sit on (which had resided in the office) but now my daughter has bought a house, the bed has been assigned to her guest room. My rooms are too small to pull out the second bed.

So, running up a weighty debt on the credit card again but this time not with loads of clothes, shoes & accessories I don’t need. Half that stuff is hanging on rails in the lounge still. It doesn’t fly as quickly out the door as visualised but I would like to recoup some of my losses. Carpets have to be paid for in twelve months so every little helps.

[chaosqueenParticipant]

YUp, better get the stuff sold fast! So were are you putting all those “once I am dehoarded” things. Do I get to be cruel and ask:”Are you getting more stuff out then in?”

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