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kaizen.
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ShedTheShame
Thanks so much for sharing these, kaizen. Watched most of the trauma series — some really good stuff.
Didn’t get to
Ace Your Space. My eyes and brain are so computer screened out 
I know I’ve watched a previous Ace Your Space summit in the past. Apparently… I didn’t ACE it
:roll: kaizen
Hi StS, I listened to a bit of each of them. I am too much on overwhelm in my whole life atm to do a “good job” (ah, there’s my internal critic trying to shape me up!) of really paying attention & taking thorough notes. I cannot focus/concentrate to take sense-making notes very well when I am overwhelmed. And how my mind works is the note taking itself is a major way to focus & tune out other distractions. Even if I were never to read those notes again, I would have assimilated more information just by taking the notes.
From the trauma stuff:
I did pay attention to
Richard Schwartz. I am trying to use the IFS method, & it’s fascinating but it seems like I can do a “chunk” of work then I have to back off again for a while & then start up again. It is more than enough to be processing atm without adding a lot of other specialists’ ideas! The method is useful to be kinder to myself each day: to be able to say, “Oh, hi anxious part! I see that this situation really triggered you. We’ll make some time to talk about that later.” or “Hi inner critic. I appreciate that you are trying to keep me safe. I hear you & we’ve got this.”
Also,
Deb Dana. I could see how her explanations & tools could be immediately useful to me, especially in any “triggered” moments & weave in nicely with IFS. So really, that’s a LOT to have further incorporated into my life in a week (along with how ever many books I am reading at the same time). Don’t think I could have taken in much more.
Who did you hear that resonated with you?
In the clutter stuff:
I was happy to listen to Kendra Adachi, whose blog I’ve mentioned before on here. I just really resonate with her approach to her life & home. And she’s just had her book come out which I got & is one of the ones I’m reading atm. I do not buy a lot of books, & almost never new (– like I have to defend myself on here!
:roll: ).The message that resounded with me repeatedly from the sessions I did take in, which is me distilling what **I** need to hear right now [& I’ll copy notes here from 1 session]:
So FIRST STEP is to be CLEAR on your VISION.
–so say “In 30 days, what do you want your life to look like” –shorten the goal to 30 days. i.e. not 5 years/10 years. We give ourselves permission NOT to do it if we make it too far in front of us.
–Decluttering – Ask yourself “Does this fit into the life that I’m creating?” rather than “Which 5 of these 10 notebooks do I like best?” cuz you might be able to get rid of more than 5.
–ONE ACTION YOU CAN TAKE THAT WILL HELP PPL DECLUTTER?: Be intentional to Center yourself on your vision. Once you have that clarity, you can see without blinders what’s around you doesn’t fit. i.e. Clearly looking at “Where do I want to go? Does this fit into it?” (and everything else is just part of the luggage & you decide if you want to carry it with you.)
And can’t you just hear how that is Brookes Palmer’s message line too!
~Kai
Thanks for sharing your Kendra Adachi notes, Kai. Especially Quote:We give ourselves permission NOT to do it if we make it too far in front of us.
I’m a fan of Richard Schwartz! I liked Deb Dana a lot, too. Especially because I’ve been learning more about the nervous system and its different states. I used to think of Fight, Flight or Freeze collectively. But Freeze is its own distinct state of shutting down. Collapsing. Becoming invisible. Getting small. Shame happens in Freeze; not in Fight or Flight. The paralysis I feel when it comes to facing my clutter? That’s Freeze
:shock: Her “Stories of Three States” was really eye opening. For any given situation, each state of the nervous system has a very different story. Whichever state is most active in your system – that’s the state that’s sending you its story.
Say you’re in the story of “the world is a dangerous place and I have to fight everyone.” If you can just stop for a minute and go, “Oh, that’s my sympathetic nervous system story” and take a moment to ask, “So dorsal system – what’s the story there?” And then, “Ventral system –- what’s the story there?” It allows you to feel that you have a CHOICE — that you’re not trapped.
At first I couldn’t connect with Daniel Siegel, but then he said something that really resonated with me:
Quote:The synonym for
uncertaintyis freedom. Freedomand possibility. If you can drop into the freedom of uncertainty – instead of trying to control life, you can let life and love happen. The journey is both challenging and liberating. GailMorley
I’ve just clicked the link on the Trauma Skills. It ended on the 26th. I should have checked earlier, as now you have to pay to access them 
Thanks for the heads-up for the Encore, StS, & the tip about Elizabeth Stanley’s talk. I liked Stanley’s exercise & explanations. I usually do not do the “follow the breath”-type meditations well at all; I’ve always been better at a walking meditation. This was really good (“successful” / I was SO relaxed at the end) for me. How was it for you? If you run across further audio/video presentations of this more body-anchoring type of meditation please share!
I began Daniel Siegel’s talk earlier but then abandoned it because the beginning part was not straightforward & had too much jargon, but I listened to it too. I’ve heard him before, but not for quite a while.
When I read the quote you posted, I immediately thought “Uncertainty is a HUGE scary thing for anybody who as a child had parents with alcoholism or mental illness, etc. I’m not sure I can agree with this quote!” I liked that he admitted the journey is challenging — and way takes you through TERROR, all the terror of one’s childhood. It would be amazing to make it through that fire to the point where the quote felt like truth, because life is nothing if not uncertain!
When I saw this quote, I just loved it & I thought it paralleled Siegel’s “dropping into the center of the wheel”:
https://www.instagram.com/p/CEcmtlzAhIL/?igshid=1evw6ljxpd9s “LET IT BE EASY” –I’m going to stick this one up on my wall!
Dick Schwartz mentioned that he has worked with Chris Germer. I mentioned before he also talked about working with Gabor Mate. There must be some amazing work unfolding with all these collaborations. We will have to keep a watch out for what they make available!
I wanted to clarify that the session quotes I shared were not from Kendra, but from another presenter.
Collective Trauma Summit 2020 https://collectivetraumasummit.com/ 2020 Sept 22 – Oct 1
Each day, 4-5 talks will be made available to watch for free for 48 hours.
The summit will explore trauma in individuals, communities, and society.
Obviously there’s not enough time in our days to listen to ALL of these, but catching a few might be worthwhile.
I haven’t yet seen a complete list of presenters, but recognized a few pictures including Gabor Maté.
kaizen, thanks again for sharing the Collective Trauma Summit 2020. Caught several of them. Research has shown that those with hoarding issues report a greater variety of traumatic events, as well as frequency of such events. I’m totally on board with the notion of trauma being stored in our bodies! Our biology can keep our psychology stuck. When we go to our trauma place, our logical brain is actually cut off. That’s why we can logically know what we need to change — but we find ourselves doing the same old patterns.
I like how Dr. Aimie Apigian’s explains it
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3eVfZhdj5-E&feature=emb_logo ” class=”bbcode_url”> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3eVfZhdj5-E&feature=emb_logo Dr. Aimie Apigian is hosting her own free summit. What I’ve learned from her about how to better regulate my nervous system has helped me a lot. Yesterday a woman next to me at the farmers market had a dispute over money with a vendor. She accused the vendor of not returning her cash after she had changed her mind and decided to pay with a credit card instead. She seemed a bit discombobulated and disorganized. She had cash both in her purse and in her jeans pocket. Her jeans had at least 4 pockets AND she was wearing a cardigan with another 2 pockets.
Sometimes I’ll unconsciously put my keys in my pocket instead of my purse. So I politely suggested, “Maybe check all your pockets?” She turned to me angrily and said, “You need to keep your Asian ass out of this!” She told us all we were horrible people and that we were going to hell
:shock: Amazingly, I didn’t let this trigger me. I was able to remain calm. And I actually felt sorry for this woman. The look in her eyes was as if she felt the whole world was against her.
I’m quite sure that what I’ve learned about my nervous system helped me
It looks like Dr. Aimie’s summit will cover a lot of different topics… but maybe some of the speakers will share things of interest to you
https://bio-optimizesummit.com/?ref=7215https://bio-optimizesummit.com/?ref=7215” class=”bbcode_url”> Denise Linn is hosting a clutter clearing challenge starting 2021 Jan 7. Some on facebook, but some available on website if you don’t use FB. It’s obviously aimed at general decluttering, not hoarding, but always a chance for some good “a-ha!”s & tips. https://experience.hayhouseu.com/certifiedcluttercoach-welcome/ chaosqueen
Lets do this! I am not sure if I will sign up on FB, but I will commit to a 7 day declutter and would be happy to report with you here! I do so much better with a declutter buddy! OK. I joined the FB group. more than 30.000 members. I am already overwhelmed. I think I will just stick to the headlines. Masterbedroom. Here I come. 35.000 members and counting. Minus one. I left. I don’t feel like posting and sharing there, but I do read and cheer on other people. So. Well. Good for them. Wasted time for me. Reading through the guidelines for decluttering my closet makes one thing clear as day. I need to go shopping. I have 2 pairs of pants that I feel good in and 2 more that are good enough, but I only wear when the other 2 aren’t available. Tops is better. i have 5-7 I like.
What else is in there? Not whole lot more. Yes, T-Shirts, that I only wear around the house and some leggings that I use for working out, under skirts that feel too short and 1 pair of pyjamas.
The closet is definitely not my problem. I did clear it out, cleaned it out and put things back. i even came up with a solution for the basket of single socks that is always attracting clutter. There is space in my closet for small boxes. From now on the single sox will be keep in individual boxes by owner. I am probably the only person ending up with more stuff in the closet after a clear out.
:roll: Oddsocks
chaosqueen wrote:
I am probably the only person ending up with more stuff in the closet after a clear out.:roll:
No you arent! Know that one! Its the situation that even non-hoarders have that when you take everything out of a wardrobe or desk the quantity of stuff seems a lot more than it is! Actually, it can be good to have more in the closet if it means its not something on the floor to trip over or get dirty!I meant I need to buy stuff I would actually enjoy wearing and not just good enoughs…
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